I decided that I am now a decisive person while riding on the back of a scooter with a friend through the hills of Greece.

I was working at a refugee camp and had bit of free time, so I went to feel the air.

For 14 years I’ve been afraid to face what I want: writing, recording, and performing my original music. I lived things that were close and only sometimes aligned. I allowed myself to be lost and confused.

I knew I couldn’t let what I truly want go for fear of regret and I knew that, ultimately, it would all work out. Yet, it seemed foreign and out of reach.

Being indecisive is a decision.

I was afraid that if I chose what I wanted and started to do things differently, I’d lose myself.

With taking time to get centered and connect within everymorning since January, I’ve been learning to let go.

I could either be anxious and try to control the future, or let go, be in the moment, and have everything I need and be enough. And have an awesome time.

I’d been going after smaller wild dreams in the recent past, like going to create my own solo music retreat in Cuba for a month and write and record a Cuban jazz album and be a part of a Cuban / US hip hop album; like going after a profound experience doing music and theater with refugees with a great creative team in Greece; like moving to a new apartment where I’m happy; like enrolling in the dance classes I’ve wanted to take; like going on the Transmute live electronic music retreat in Florida; like investing in music lessons again to go deeper; like investing in group of likeminded people where we bounce ideas off of each other and where we have to show up; like getting help where I can.

I keep thinking in images and then they pop up in my life like sprouts. I’m having fun with collecting these images now and I'm trying a lot of new things.

I’m learnin deciding to let go and be within my larger wild dream. Why not? There's a lot of new music coming your way.


Have you experienced any part of letting go?

This week's YouTube Vimeo video is a live performance of my song Deux Yeux at Glasslands in New York City, along with Sami Arefin (guitar), Ethan Foote (bass), and Dadras (drums). <<< Click here to watch the video >>>.

Mary Alouette